How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: A Step-by-Step Guide for Couples

Writing your own wedding vows is one of the most meaningful and intimate moments of your ceremony. It’s your chance to speak from the heart, honor your journey, and make promises that are deeply personal to your relationship. But let’s be honest, staring at a blank page can feel overwhelming.

As a professional NYC wedding officiant who guides couples from all around the world through their ceremony preparations, I’m here to make this part easy, stress-free, and beautiful.

Here’s how to write vows that feel true, emotional, and unforgettable.

1. Start With Your Love Story

Begin by reflecting on your relationship:

• How did you two meet?

• What moment made you realize, “This is my person”?

• What qualities do you admire most in your partner?

These little details help shape vows that feel personal and authentic, not generic.

2. Think About What Marriage Means to You

Every couple has their own definition of partnership. Ask yourself:

• What does committing your life to this person mean?

• How do you want to show up in this marriage?

• What foundation are you promising to build?

You don’t need fancy language—just speak honestly.

3. Make Promises That Matter

Vows are, at their core, promises. Think of both serious and lighthearted commitments:

Examples:

• “I promise to choose you every day.”

• “I promise to listen, even when I’m tired.”

• “I promise to keep your favorite snacks stocked.”

• “I promise to protect our peace and our love.”

Mixing heartfelt with humorous keeps your vows balanced and memorable.

4. Use Structure to Keep It Simple

Here’s an easy vow formula you can follow:

1. Open with love – “From the moment I met you…”

2. Share your story – highlight what you cherish

3. Express how they make you feel

4. Make promises – serious + fun

5. Look toward the future – how you envision your life together

6. Close with intention – “This is my vow to you.”

5. Keep Them Around 1–2 Minutes

Short and meaningful is perfect—your guests should feel moved, not lost. If both partners write vows, keeping similar lengths ensures a smooth, balanced ceremony.

6. Say It Out Loud

Read your vows aloud to yourself, or practice in front of a mirror. This helps you:

• Catch any tongue-twisters

• Adjust the flow

• Hear the emotion behind your words

When your voice cracks a little, that’s when you know it’s perfect.

7. Don’t Worry About Being a Writer

Your vows don’t need to be poetic or dramatic. They just need to be you. Your partner wants to hear your heart, not perfection.

As an officiant, I remind couples: If your words are sincere, they can never be wrong.

8. Bonus Tip: Share Your Vow Style With Each Other

To avoid mismatched vows, decide together:

• Should vows be funny? Emotional? Warm and simple?

• Should you write them in secret or review them together?

• Should you keep them the same length?

A little coordination goes a long way.

Sample Vows to Get You Started

Romantic:

“Today, I choose you, fully, freely, and without hesitation. You’ve been my peace, my laughter, and my home. I vow to walk with you, grow with you, and love you fiercely for the rest of our lives.”

Balanced (sweet + funny):

“I love how safe I feel with you, and I promise to always protect what we’re building. I vow to support your dreams, laugh at your jokes, yes, even the bad ones, and to choose us, every single day.”

Short + simple:

“You are my best friend, my joy, and my heart. I promise to love you, honor you, and stand by your side for all the days to come.”

Writing your own vows is one of the most beautiful gifts you give to each other. Don’t overthink it, just speak truthfully about your love, your gratitude, and your future together.

And if you need help, guidance, or a personal review of your vows, that’s what I’m here for.

Planning an NYC elopement or intimate wedding?

Book your free consultation with Pure Timeless Unions today and let’s create a ceremony that feels like you.